The Worst Films of 2009

Another year has come to pass, and another batch of films has come to make me question my undying love for films. These ten films have unfortunately lessened my intelligence, but thankfully, my top ten (coming soon) will redeem my brains, and sense of hope. On to the bottom ten:

10. Amelia - Mira Nair.

Hilary Swank is a funny actress. She can either be earth-shattering terrific (Boys Don't Cry, Million Dollar Baby) or truly awful (The Core, The Reaping). Here she is somewhere in between. But where the film loses its opportunity is it's direction and just dreadful story. This could have been one of the most compelling films of the year, yet it was just wrong from the start.

9. Knowing - Alex Proyas.

Although the film's first half is actually quite intriguing, it falls flat on its face when it decides Earth needs an apocalypse. No mention of it at any point early in the film makes it utterly usless except as a means to put CGI effects into the trailer to try and get more people in the seats. What could have been a sci-fi cult favorite turns into a huge disappointment.

8. Push - Paul McGuigan.

Simply a dull action flick. The concept of the film is a huge farce, and the film just expects us to just go with it. Sometimes that's okay, if the action makes us not worry about it, but this is one of the rare shoot 'em up films that was putting me asleep.

7. Funny People - Judd Apatow.

Although not a terrible film, Judd Apatow's third feature film has a huge identity crisis. Known for his comedic skills with his two previous features, Apatow does a 180 and tries to create a dramatic comedy in the sense of the old Frank Capra films of the 1940's. It is a huge misstep. The funny scenes aren't that funny, and the drama is overdone to the point where I didn't care about any of the characters or what happened to them. Please, stick to comedy.

6. X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Gavin Hood.

Oh, what a box office hit this could have been. Except they forgot one thing: a story. The film centers itself around a big action sequence involving a helicopter. That's all well and good, except it occurs within the first half hour. The rest of the film is a painful bore to experience.

5. Bruno - Larry Charles.

I had such hopes for this film. After the huge success of Borat, it seemed Bruno was destined to be just as good. What made Borat so refreshing, original, and hilarious, was its sense of reality. Some of the scenes were staged, but watching the film, its hard to distinguish which are. Bruno is simply not funny, and it seems as if much of the film was staged. A huge disappointment, and I hope that Cohen does not give his characters a third try. Borat should have been his only film.

4. I Love You, Beth Cooper - Chris Columbus.

It's hard to imagine Larry Doyle, the author of the novel, also wrote this films screenplay. None of his heartwarming charm and descriptions are anywhere in the film. The film lacks any substance, and relies on recycled teenage antics that we've been seeing since the days of Animal House. Oh yeah, the acting sucks too.

3. Observe and Report - Jody Hill.

Some people say this film got a bad rap because it came out close to the box office hit Paul Blart: Mall Cop. That's not the case. The film, in a word, is disturbing. Seth Rogen's character makes me question the hiring process of malls in America today. His character, suffering from bi-polar disorder, and a bad case of the creepers, has no place being employed as a security guard in a public place. The "jokes" are downright disturbing and offensive. And yeah, the acting sucks in this one too.

2. Year One - Harold Ramis.

I'm sick of Michael Cera. What does everyone see in him that I don't? He has the exact, let me repeat, the EXACT same character in each film he has played. There was nothing different about Nick and Paulie Bleeker. There's no difference here, and I expect there won't be much of a difference in Youth in Revolt. Plus, I don't find Jack Black all that funny either. These two together was a recipe for disaster from the beginning.

1. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - Michael Bay.

I didn't think Bay could get much worse than Armageddon, his worst film. He comes close with this awful sequel to a halfway decent film. Borderline racist, terribly loud, utterly incomprehensible, the film is a waste of time and money. Bay should have ten the film's budget and spread it to the various film companies who are on the verge of breakup, instead of releasing this garbage.

And there you have it, the worst films of the year. We got through it (mostly) unscathed.